Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
