i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
