i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
