last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
