Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
