Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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