I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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