meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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