wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
