Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
