what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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