Only a mothe r could love this liver
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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