It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
