I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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