More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
COCAINE IS GR8
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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