Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
