let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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