I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
