omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
