In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
