Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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