OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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