I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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