She announced her abortion via fbk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
