pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
