You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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