she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
