Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
