plz talk dirty to me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
