on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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