Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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