that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
