I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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