so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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