I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
