I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
