"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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