woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
