i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
