That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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