This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
