Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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