Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I touched a dick in church today
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
