dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
