and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
