so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
