if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
