i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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