goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
