im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
