We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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