Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
